Phone Etiquette: An Acronym Kids Should Worry About

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I read a very interesting article posted on cnn.com a few days back and it’s been on my mind. The article was warning parents about some of the new acronyms on the street and how to stay hip. A few that have been forever burned in my mind include;

GYPO-Get Your Pants Off

9-Parent Watching

99-Parent Gone

PIR-Parent in Room

NIFOC-Naked in Front of Computer

CU46-See you for Sex

The rest of them baffled me too, as my first thought was sheer horror kids aren’t even attempting to spell out their thoughts anymore! How can a parent compete with that? How in the world am I supposed to hover over cnn, msn, Oprah and the likes to give me tidbits of information on ways to communicate with the bots that are now our children? My second thought was, of course, a personal one. Are my kids using this language? We have two children with cell phones and I take a cruise around the phone every once in a while but the truth is with Kick, SnapChat, text messaging and email how in the world are we supposed to keep up?

I believe the answer to that question is relative to two very important things in a relationship between parent and child;

(1) Responsibility

(2) Trust

If your child isn’t responsible or trustworthy than they more than likely are not ready for a cell phone. Society is putting on the pressure but don’t cave, it will only cause more problems than it’s worth.

The other strategic move to set in place is the village. By village, I mean other parents. We must have multiple people keeping after our kids and willing to share what they may have seen in their kid’s phone about your kids etc. The village has become more important than ever this day in age, build it up!

I figure if none of this works and I still find myself drowning in the abyss of teen social media, I can remember three things:

(1) Their kids people! My home, my rules, my way.

(2) He/she who pays the bill, controls the phone.

If they really push, kids should become familiar with an acronym they will have no choice but to communicate in person at school.

(3) MCMPO: Mom Cut My Phone Off

Just remember parents, this is a two-way street & we can’t forget that. There was a time we lived without cell phones and our kids can certainly survive it (and we can too parents)! If cell phone etiquette isn’t to your standard than take that phone away and shape that kid up until it is! The real danger in a kid’s phone is the parent who is afraid to poke around, unwilling to take action and feels trapped by the social pressure!

I’m always open to suggestions, cell phones can be tricky business!

Source:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/08/living/internet-acronyms-every-parent-should-know/index.html

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Working Mothers: What about Us!?

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For some reason I woke up this morning with the thought what about me? What about me, the working mom? I’ve read many blogs, posts, articles, comments and feelings on the stay at home mom. Their many sacrifices, the difficulties of staying home and the lack of understanding the world and often their husbands have for them. Well, I think the world has a lack of understanding for me too, for all working mothers! The working mother  has also made a host of sacrifices and much like the stay at home mom, it takes a shot at her career.

#1 Sacrifice: I’ve returned to work after each maternity leave and I’ve often wondered where does all the juggling really get you? I’ve had the thought many times that I certainly have potential to be in the top ranks of some business by now if it weren’t for the “mommy track”. What’s the mommy track? I’m glad you asked. The mommy track is that very invisible line corporations draw between you, your actual contributions vs. their perceived contributions. In plain English it means, “I can work late whenever you want, I can be here as early as you need me, I’ll never want to chaperone a field trip, I’ll never have to leave work five minutes after I arrived for a fever at school, and I’ll never-never never ask for a week off at time to be home for (choose one, there’s too damn many) break! Yea, that’s actually what they want to hear. The reality is, that’s actually EVERYTHING the mommy track will ask for plus working from home if you’re really a negotiator! Ha! Unfortunately, the mommy track often leads to your actual contributions being perceived much lower than actual value. Surely a semi chaotic, very spontaneous, semi inflammatory, I mean explosive (not helping) calendar worth the tapered lenses we’re often viewed through? Society says?? (insert your opinion here)

#2 Guilt: In addition to the ticking time bomb calendar there’s also days where I’m quite certain we could equal our body weight in the number of tears we’re fighting back heading to the office having sent a child to school a little unsteady. It can be a lot of guilt! STOP! Before you judge, by unsteady I mean; a splinter in a foot, a cheese sandwich with no cheese (oops), an unsigned permission slip, a hole in the khaki’s, a permission slip marked cannot chaperone etc. Yes, we’re ALL mothers…fevers, green goo, pink eye etc. YES! We stay home too. Clearly, all items are survivable, but none the less the things we beat ourselves up about all day long (while working).

#3 The Trophy: Ahhh, the sought after “trophy wife”. I’ve read in so many blogs this is the part where stay at home mom’s often say we have the advantage? We get the pleasure of heading to husband’s Holiday Party, cocktail party etc. and having an all too impressive resume to dazzle his coworkers. It’s more than “I’m a mom.” In reality the five-minute elevator speech about our high-powered careers left out the following; before work I wrestled with a blood blister on a ballerina’s foot, frantically ran after boys making sure they remembered deodorant, picked out a tie for the hubby, asked myself 100 times should I iron this shirt or not? (the answer is always not), fussed in the carpool line while listening to my email notification “bing” my ears to death and calculating if I have enough time to grab coffee. Note: Traffic never allows time for coffee.

I also left out while at work; sat on hold to request a fax from the Dr’s office for one child, while taking a business call on my desk line, responded to the teacher’s email, got a phone call from the school about said blister and also managed to accomplish returning an insane amount of emails, attend meetings on time while earning that paycheck baby! You don’t get to say all of this at the Holiday Party but it’s what you’re thinking! Note: Assistant? Something to consider.

#4 Adult Interaction: Let me keep this short and sweet. The adult interaction at the office often leads to emails that raise my blood pressure, conversations that raise my blood pressure, meetings that raise my blood pressure and unhealthy frequent lunches that raise my blood pressure. Do you see the pattern here? An advantage? I suppose it depends on who’s paying for lunch? Okay. I am glad we cleared that up. Moving on…

#5 Lack of Understanding: If I read one more blog that says “my husband doesn’t understand what I do all day.” Ladies, they’re men! Do you think being a working mother somehow mysteriously makes him an all-knowing expert on any one thing I juggled in a day on top of item #1, #2 and #4. Husbands don’t get the working woman either.

So you see ladies, the moral of the story is we have it hard too. Some would say harder but that’s not for me to judge. We all made our choice. I haven’t walked in any other shoes but my own and I make an effort to understand all walks of life and that’s all I’m trying to do here (be understanding and be understood). The common thread between all of us is motherhood! We keep our guilt, our adult interaction, lack of understanding etc. in different places in different ways. There’s no right or wrong choice, and we’re all being challenged to raise our kids the best way we know how.

To all mothers…keep being amazing!

Single? What Your Closet May Say About You!

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I woke up this morning to the site of a closet overflowing. Filled from top to bottom with shoes, hats, clothing and random belts and purses lopsided on the shelf. It’s clear our impending move could not come at a better time, we’ve outgrown our space. In years past, waking up to this site would have immediately put a crooked smile on my face and urged me to overlook really important things in life to reorganize this dastardly site. Thank goodness I’ve matured a bit in this lifetime.

Today, instead of the crooked smile it made me fondly look at my husband as I remembered my life just a few short years ago. When we began dating he would poke fun at the organization of my closet. The color coding, the neatly placed belts and shoes, the boxes filled with neatly stacked purses and more. While he appreciated the organization, I recall him saying to me one day “there’s no room in your closet for me?” He then went on to explain that I parked in the very middle of my 2 car garage, I utilized every single inch of space in the closet, all the drawers in my dresser and I often had a single Dr. Pepper in the refrigerator. I, of course, took his observations to mean that I was a super put together single woman powerhouse and what more could he want from me? The observations said to him the available space in my life was looking extremely limited and where exactly did he fit in this picture? After giving this clever metaphor some thought it turns out he was absolutely right! As much as I enjoyed spending time together I had never considered “making room for him” in that way inside of my tidy little life. I mean, why in the world would I ever consider a new system in my closet, garage, or Dr. Pepper runs? It had been that way for years! Well, you do consider those things when you open your heart to everything love has to offer. I was guarded, he recognized that and the clever metaphor was the beginning of the end of my single lifestyle as I knew it.

In four years I managed to take the color coded closet (still is on my side-ha!) and make room for his not so color coded semi organized WE closet. It started with me clearing a drawer for him and that drawer turned into a marriage. So you see, I couldn’t be happier to wake up to a closet that is far from the closet of my dreams. It will forever represent a part of myself that I had to let go and remind me daily of all that I gained by doing so.

My single closet is now a distant memory but I’d like to challenge any single women looking for love to inventory their single ways, how much space is available for Mr. Right?

Saturday Shenanigans

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Morning breath, Syrup, Eggs and Orange Juice

Sweeping, sleeping, dancing, cleaning and ringing door bells too

Chatty mornings on the phone, paper crinkling, and newsfeeds scrolling on

Cats meowing, dogs barking, and child’s play on high

Spooning in bed, playing footsie

Morning sex? Yes! Okay

Steamy showers, cologne, lotion, and coffee mixed with perfume

Kids bed head, curling irons heating, and laundry on the stairs

Open windows, cool winter breeze and sun pouring in

To do lists, trash overflowing, laughs and what to do on the brain

Dryer sheets, folding clothes, and possible nap time on the way

More sex, maybe? Okay, yes!

Blair cartoons and sneak away

Closed door romance, music, and what did I forget to do?

Door knocks, Lifetime and mangled hair dos

Jeans and tees, no ironing

All the food you can eat

Cheat day, sleep day, me day or we day

Saturday Shenanigans, the best! Who cares what we do!

12-year-old killed himself, reportedly after being bullied for wanting to join the middle school cheerleading squad

Gender stereotypes continue to hurt our children. I’ve had this discussion many times with parents of boys who are uninterested in football, video games or things that society says “boys should do”. Individuality has no boundaries, and no rules other than what we place on ourselves. This is a problem for society to change, the children shouldn’t have to.

KFOR.com

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FOLSOM, Calif. – A community is mourning the death of a middle school student who took his own life after alleged bullying over cheerleading.

Friends say 12-year-old Ronin Shimizu left Folsom Middle School  last year because he was teased about wanting to become a cheerleader on the school squad.

So, he enrolled in a home-school program , according to FOX40.

“Bullying him because of cheerleading…it’s not right.  It’s what he loves to do and that’s a human right to do that,” said 11-year-old Mia Kleinbardt.

“Well…we were aware of allegations of bulling. I can’t speak to specific allegations but like all allegations we investigate them fully,” said school district spokesman Dan Thigpen.

“I heard thasomebody called the bullies and told them that he passed away and they were like shocked…like realized..learned their lesson on how words can hurt,” said Riley.

Those who loved Ronin can only hope…

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Black Family: Wake Up!

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Our communities are suffering behind our broken men

The men who suffered as boys and now pass the suffering on as a man

It’s complicated, so I’ll start from the beginning

These generational curses are plaguing our communities

Weakening the heart and soul of our families, that’s right our black men

The world continues to wear them down with very few willing to support and help them

The years of fighting for their place has removed their pride in building healthy homes

The men of today seek only pleasure and have no will to live as the Kings they truly are

The aftermath of these conquests have far reaching consequences that are poisining our homes

The women are now raising their families, tired, but stronger than ever before

She walks with a different attitude around him with pity in her eyes and resentment in her soul

She’s screaming on the inside “Don’t leave. Don’t let me do this alone.”

But when she opens her mouth her tongue lashes out, leaving the scars of the master’s whip

Fueled by heart-break and determination to prove to him wrong, her heart turns spiteful and has nothing but hatred for him

The men of today don’t have the strength or patience to break down her wall of pain

The men of today move on to the next woman, an easy prey, a place to lay

The men of today opt for the easy kill rather than a hammer to tear down roadblocks along the way

The woman, now isolated, and the man out for his own needs leaves our youth seeking attention and very rarely finding the kind they need

Only a child, they have no idea what the world has waiting for them

The justice system lurking near by patiently waiting to raise them up in the system and “teach” them

With no tools, no means to support themselves they turn to a life filled with using others and sin

This young child, a product of the curse, will soon grow up to be a man

Seeking love, broken inside, he will find some young lady to call him her man

With no foundation of family or idea of what a man is supposed to be, he pretends to know the role, walking into it blindly

When it’s more than he imagined he feels no shame, sadness or disappointment in walking away

His family looks just as he remembered and just like him, his child(ren) will find their own way

The men of our country are failing us, it is time to wake the community and take a stand

Stand for the black family by no longer letting your past define who you are

Stand for the black family by being the man and the acting head in your home

Stand for the black family by becoming a stronger man, leave the crutches of the world behind and use your own two feet to walk your path

Stand for the black family by working on the streets on which you live, be the model our youth can look too because the news media doesn’t have much good for them

Stand for the black family by telling the truth about your pain, be a testimony to change the way our young black men are being raised

Stand for the black family by loving the skin you’re in, the purpose on your life is far greater than anything the world would ever imagine

Stand for the black family by telling your children right now today, how much their lives matter and how hungry the world is to help them throw it all away

Stand for the black family, do not cower in the panic the media wants you to feel

Right your wrongs

Forgive those who failed you

Be a better man than them

Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving…

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And mom busied herself around the house, the aromas were flowing and we knew the Holidays have come to the house…

Well, I get sad about this time every year as the co-parenting thing kicks into full swing during the holidays. I really don’t mind being cooperative with the ex’s but that doesn’t mean I can’t miss my children and have a pity party when they’re gone Thanksgiving Day. For about the last five years, my husband and I have graciously given up Thanksgiving to our ex’s and every year I wake up feeling sad. Admittedly, by the end of the day I’ve tremendously enjoyed the time with my darling husband and do look forward to that.

This year, I decided I would put on the superwoman cape and fly around the first few days of the week to pull of Thanksgiving dinner the last night we’re all together before the holiday! Grocery shopping, done. Cooking bits and pieces here & there, done. Already, my heart is filled with joy as I anticipate an evening of movies and good food with my favorite people! Sure, we get to spend plenty of time together but there’s something about the energy that’s created around the holidays that I’ve desperately missed sharing with them. For years, I was so caught up on THE DAY instead of realizing I can capitalize on the time we have now!

My daughter is patiently awaiting my return home so we can finish cooking the remainder of the meal. She is so excited to be a part of this grand time. It’s THOSE moments that are stolen away but it’s those moments that I am now rebuilding by being a little bit more flexible with our blended family time. I am so thankful for each moment and I KNOW my family appreciates me wearing the cape all week to make this happen!

Dinner is shaping up to be a splendid blended good time, the night before Thanksgiving…

God is good!