FitBit, Fit Fat, Fat Fits

FitBit is me attempting to be inspired to start a regular workout routine. What a brilliant idea! Attach a device to yourself to record how many steps you take in a day which should encourage you to walk, or workout more. Here’s what it really did for me; throw me into a pity party once I realized how little I actually walk in a day, destroy my hopes and dreams that simply walking was a solution and return me back to the beginning of how to inspire a regular workout routine.

Fit Fat is me over said device, and entering a phase of mental illusions alternating between “Acceptance of current bod” (fit) and “Unhappiness with current bod” (fat). This phase at least keeps me happy in the moments I am feeling fit but when I enter the moments of fat it leads back to being inspired to start and maintain a regular workout routine. Sure, I’ve been the same size since I had my daughter, I know I can eat better, outwardly I’m not the worst I’ve seen but internally I feel like a giant failure that I can’t conquer this. I want MORE!

This leads to the last and final phase, fat fits. It sounds pretty self-explanatory but I will explain anyway, “Constant Unhappiness with current bod” (nothing fits like I want it to, feeling frumpy, just flat out discouraged). Let’s define “unhappy”. In my mind, unhappiness is being unwilling to accept reality. Therefore struggling to embrace what is and mentally resting your thoughts elsewhere, either in a “what was” or “what could be” state that has not yet been achieved. Regardless of where you rest your thoughts, the present is what matters today and that is the only real reliable source of what we need to do to change.

With that said, I’ve heard all the stories about 21 days being the path to forming habits, supplement shakes, Insanity, Zumba and all the other things out there that everyone else (except me) seems to be falling in love with. You would think as much as I desire to improve the tone of my muscles, turn up sexy a notch and have more energy throughout the day I continue to find working out a difficult task to put into my schedule. Time is always a factor, and I find this to be the case for many other women with careers, and families to look after. Getting up at 4AM sounds great, yea, not really. =(

I suppose the end result is this: I either have not yet hit rock bottom (the point where I completely disgust myself) OR I am accepting that working out and my body will be a constant struggle in my life. Either way, I am immensely unsatisfied with both options. I dislike unhappiness or negativity of any sort in my life and this is an area that it seems to constantly arise. Finding ways to take charge of this battle, well, has been an ongoing battle that I am consistently losing!

I would absolutely love suggestions from my happily toned, healthy eating, maybe a 4 pack women out there! 6 packers need not respond. Kidding.


Workout Hopeful


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